Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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