from now on my penis is your penis
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
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