Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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