he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
