Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
