She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
