party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my phone needs a breathalizer
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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