Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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