It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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