did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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