dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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