cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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