I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
