Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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