I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
