In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You pole danced in your parka.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
