he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
