i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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