someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
