Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
