And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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