uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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