Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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