my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
