I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
