Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
