All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
