Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
