ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Come share oat with me in your robe
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
