I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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