Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
