You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
