I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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