Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
