Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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