his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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