oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
