we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
