They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
