We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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