Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
