i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
