He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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