then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
