Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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