I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
