i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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