she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
