So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
