that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
