you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
